There was a time I was working two jobs and instead of resting, I chose meeting my friends and family over sleep. If anyone used the words: “But I haven’t seen you for so long,” or “I need a favor,” I’d put my rest aside and do what I thought had to be done. As a matter of fact, I’d feel guilty when I chose to do what felt good for me.
Sounds familiar? If so, here are 3 reasons why it’s okay to choose for yourself.
It’s not selfish, it’s necessary.
When you get on the plane, the flight attendants will always give the same safety instructions. One very important thing they tell you is if the oxygen mask comes out, put them on yourself before putting them on whoever is next to you. This didn’t make sense to me at first. How selfish is it of me to help myself and risk the person next to me suffocating? Until I realized that obviously I’m no good if I suffocate first.
Honestly, I had to learn this the hard way. After a long period of sacrificing my rest for others, I was sleep deprived and my mental health was suffering. I became an absolute mess. Until I started choosing for myself and my own well being. At first, I felt really selfish. Until I noticed that I was much more useful to my family friends after the choice I made, which was: me.
If you really want to be of help for others, choose yourself first. You’re no good to your surroundings if you don’t take care of yourself properly.
You’re not super(wo)man.
I come from a tribe of women who seriously wear an invisible cape. Ready to save the world. From the moment they get up they’re flying around, running errands, taking care of their family, work…And at the end of the day, ask them what they did for themselves. Nada. Yet, here they are. Absolutely exhausted.
Apparently they have the strong belief that the world will burn if they choose for themselves and I constantly end up reminding them: you are not superwoman!
You don’t have an S on your chest and you don’t wear a cape. You’re not here to save the world or in this case, your friends and family. They have to save themselves. All you can do is be there for them and give them the love and support you can afford to give. Keyword: afford. There’s no point in giving so much to the point that you’re absolutely drained.
Oh… And if your people don’t respect this choice, you might wanna consider a clean up. I’m just saying.
You are worth it!
In case you still had any doubts, I want you to know: you are worth it! Period. You are an amazing being who is clearly selfless, but you deserve to choose you. You deserve to be well-rested and happy. Just like all the others you’ve been investing your time and energy in; you too are worth it.
One of the hardest lessons to learn is knowing you are worthy. – Steven Aitchison